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October 25th, 2009
11:12 pm - Feels OK to talk about now I got laid off in May and of course the first thing I did was file for unemployment. Much to my surprise, I was denied. Despite it never having been stated that passing the bar was a condition of my employment, that was the reason given for my dismissal. This, of course, meant that according to the NE Dept. of Labor, I was guilty of "gross misconduct."
At the time I thought it was just a misunderstanding. I had failed the bar nearly a year before, and was working as a paralegal, not a law clerk. When I informed my boss that I'd failed, he even told me that they'd keep me busy until I could take it again. Long story short, they claimed, basically, how could I not know and despite evidence to the contrary, including exhibits that I faxed to them, the appeals board sided with my employers and I basically got screwed out of my unemployment.
The time between the initial denial and my hearing amounted to nearly twelve weeks. We were living on Paul's unemployment and what little he is bringing in from a part time job. Needless to say it was stressful. Wonderful atmosphere to be taking the bar in.
Finding out that the appeal had been denied came as a very hard blow for me. I felt betrayed by someone that I had felt was both a friend and a mentor. It also lumped me in with people who do things like steal from their employers or harass their fellow employees. Then I found out I failed the bar by a very tiny margin. About this time i also had an idiot from Celebrity Staffing tell me that I was basically unemployable because I worked several part time jobs instead of one full time job while trying to pass the bar. Obviously, I was not stable or reliable.
I finally got to a point where I started crying when I got out of bed and continued on and off for the rest of the day. This went on for about two weeks and one day I gave Paul all my medications because I was afraid I'd take them all at one time. The next morning I called my psychiatrist.
For anyone who doesn't know, I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder in 1997. I've been stable and doing very well for the last ten years. But all of the above, coupled with the calls from creditors, and the trips to NE Health and Human Services to apply for whatever aid we could were just way to much to handle.
I was started on an additional medication in August and am doing very well on it. I'm watching a friends children after school while her husband is in Iraq, so I've got a tiny bit of income in addition to finally being able to draw unemployment since the 12 week penalty period has passed. Job hunting is a joke. Until I pass this f***ing thing, I have no job prospects. I'm going at it again in February.
So, I'm feeling better. I'm at least functioning, if not perfectly. Current Location: nearly in the land of nod Current Mood: blah
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August 10th, 2009
08:33 pm - Writer's Block: Memo to Myself
I'd tell myself to believe more in myself. I'd also tell myself not to take that shortcut behind the dorm that first year in law school. The 6 months it took the ankle to heal just wasn't worth it.
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August 7th, 2009
04:41 pm - Writer's Block: I May Be Crazy
The angels without the phone box.
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July 14th, 2009
04:53 pm - Yeah, I know, I should be studying... So here's a meme so you can get to know me a bit better.
Occupation: Studying for the bar, as opposed to studying at the bar. Partner: Scarfman. Kids: Two. Brothers/Sisters: Younger sisters (twins), younger brother Pets: Cats: Chiana and MeiMei; Fish, a narcoleptic clown loach called Nessy and an algae eater called Shark List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life: The bar (12 days and counting)both Scarfman and I are unemployed consequently there really isn't room for anything else. Where and for what did you go to school for? Creighton University, Juris Doctor Who are some of your closest friends? Rox_Law, Scarfman . What is on your bed right now? Two cats and a lot of pillows. What's your favourite word or phrase? "Just shoot me now." What were you doing at 8am this morning? Checking out my LJ and avoiding work (uh, erm, I'll just leave that the way it is) What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Trying to nap to get rid of my headache. Have you ever been to a strip club? Nope. What is the last thing you said aloud? "My head hurts and I feel like crap." What was the last thing you had to drink? Water What are you wearing right now? Yellow shorts and my One Fish, Two Fish shirt. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? No. When was the last time you ran? Why bring up that bad memory? What's the last sporting event you watched? Watching the Show jumping competition from last springs Rolex Kentucky right now. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? Yes. Ever go camping? Once or twice. Do you have a tan? No, but I'd give you good odds that I've got more freckles than Tennant. Have you ever lost anything down the toilet? Yeah. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot? Only when I can remember where they are on my toolbar. Have you learned anything today? When in doubt look at the corporate by-law, and never, never, never practice law in Iowa (actually I relearn that one every day). What are you doing tomorrow? Same as today. What do you think of when you think of Australia? The Croc Hunter, sorry, really I am. Ever ridden on a roller coaster? Yeah, don't ask. Last person you talked to on the phone? Roxanne. Any plans today? Study. What do you wish you had right now? My license and a job. How many kids do you want when you're older? Ummm...I had to move out to get the first set out of the house.. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 52. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Went to Six Flags over Great America when I was in my teens. How did you get some of your scars? Cat attacks, surgery and the infamous "what the hell did I do there?" Current Location: home Current Mood: irritated Current Music: none, my head hurts...
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July 5th, 2009
09:12 pm - Funny letter meme Gotta agree with mkejenkins, this is way too funny not to share...
Dear Roxanne, I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting . I think I realized it When you put cuffs on me in your car and I saw you sit on the elephant in the corner . I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that I'm allergic to your earlobes. I'm returning your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard, and your Cucumber-fetishism is weird.
Go drown yourself, Leah
Fill-in the following and post your own crazy Mad-Libs-ish letter! :D
Dear (someone you recently talked to), I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11). (12), (Your name)
1) What's the color of your shirt? Blue - I'm in love with your cat Red - Our affair is over White - I’m joining the Convent Black -Our romance is over Green- Our socks don't match Grey - You're a leprechaun Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy Pink - Your nostrils are insulting Brown - The mafia wants you No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you Other -I dislike your eyelashes
2) Which is your birth month? January - That night you picked your nose February -When I quoted Forest Gump March - When your dwarf bit me April - When I tripped on peanut butter May - When I finally changed my underwear June - When you put cuffs on me July – When I saw the purple monkey August - When you smacked my ass September - Last year when you peed your pants October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub November - When your dog humped my leg December - When I threw up in your sock drawer
3) Which food do you prefer? Tacos - In your apartment Chicken- In your car Pasta - Outside of your office Hamburgers - Under the bus Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner Lasagna - In your closet Kebab - With Jean Chrétien Seafood - In a clown suit Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert Pizza - At the mental hospital Hot dog - Under a street light Other- With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks? Yellow - Ignore Red - Put whipped cream on Black - Hit on Blue - Knock out Purple - Pour syrup on White - Carve your initials into Grey - Pull the clothes off Brown - bite off Orange - Castrate Pink - Pull the pants off of Barefoot - Sit on Other - Drive over
5) What's the color of your underwear? Black - My boyfriend White - My father Grey – The Catholic Priest Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie Purple - My best friend Red – My knee caps Blue - My salt-beef bucket Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana Orange - My Blink 182 cd Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection Other --The elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV? One Tree Hill - Senile Heroes- Frostbitten Lost - High Simpsons- Cowardly The news - Scarred American Idol - Masochistic Family Guy - Drunk Top Model - Middle-class Other - Ashamed
7) Your mood right now? Happy - How awful you are Sad - How boring you are Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men Angry - That your smell makes me vomit Depressed – That we’re related Excited - That I may pee my pants Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you Worried - That your Ford sucks Apathetic - That you need a sex-change Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid Other - That your driving sucks
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom? White - Your love letters to me Yellow - Your toe ring Red - The pictures from Vegas Black - Your pet rock Blue - The couch cushions Green - Your car Orange - Your false teeth Brown - Your nose hair clippers Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket Pink - The cut toenails Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear
9) The first letter of your first name? A/B - My virginity C/D - The oil tank from your car E/F - Your neighbors dog G/H - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it I/J - Your left ear K/L - The results of that blood-sample M/N - Your glass eye O/P - My common sense Q/R - Your mom S/T - Your collection of butterflies U/V - Your criminal record W/X – Your sucide note Y/Z - Your credit cards
10) The last letter in your last name? A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass C/D - Always will remember the pep talks E/F -Never will forget that night G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard. I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly K/L - Hate your cooking M/N - Want your brother instead of you O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet S/T - Always wanted to break your legs U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart W/X - Haven’t showered in a month Y/Z – am better off without you
11) What do you prefer to drink? Wine- Our friendship is ruined Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo Milk - The apartment building is on fire Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war. Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out Tea – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine Other – you should stop picking your nose
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation? Thailand – Warm tingly sensations Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard France - Love always Spain - With tears of sadness China – You make me sick Germany – Please don’t hurt me Japan - Go milk a cow Greece - your everlasting enemy USA - Best of luck on the sex change Egypt – Kiss my butt England - Go drown yourself Current Location: home Current Music: the sound of fireworks that have to be used up before the amnesty
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June 28th, 2009
08:40 pm Shoulda known..
Your results: You are R2-D2
| R2-D2 |
| 58% |
| Yoda |
| 58% |
| C-3PO |
| 52% |
| Luke Skywalker |
| 52% |
| Obi-Wan Kenobi |
| 50% |
| Qui-Gon Jinn |
| 50% |
| Han Solo |
| 48% |
| Jabba the Hutt |
| 47% |
| Darth Maul |
| 47% |
| Princess Leia |
| 45% |
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What you lack in height and communication skills, you make up for in industriousness, technical know-how and being there when others need you most.
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(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)
Click here to take the Star Wars Personality Quiz
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08:31 pm - Friendship Meme I've posted this before but mkejenkins asked me to do it again....so here ya go girl!
1. Your Middle Name: 2. Age: 3. Single or Taken: 4. Favorite Movie: 5. Favorite Song or Album: 6. Favorite Band/Artist: 7. Dirty or Clean: 8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: 9. Do we know each other outside of LJ? 10. What's your philosophy on life? 11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty? 12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest? 13. What is your favorite memory of us? 14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure? 15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you: 16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they? 17. Can we get together and make a cake? 18. Which country is your spiritual home? 19. What is your big weakness? 20. Do you think I'm a good person? 21. What was your best/favorite subject at school? 22. Describe your accent 23. If you could change anything about me, would you? 24. What do you wear to sleep? 25. Trousers or skirts? 26. Cigarettes or alcohol? 27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!) 28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you? Current Location: Home, homity, homity, home Current Music: BBC America
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June 20th, 2009
08:34 pm - What Gemstone Are You?
| Your Gemstone is Topaz | Comforting, considerate, and stable. You are down to earth and grounded. |
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June 17th, 2009
10:28 pm - The Ask Me Meme Borrowed from earlgreytea68
Online journals are little filters that we each see every one else's lives through, the parts others choose to share with us. That said, we all think we are close, but really we seldom know *a lot* about each other. So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away. Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you... Current Location: home Current Mood: blah Current Music: Ghost Hunters
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May 29th, 2009
03:43 pm - The Knitting Together of the Broken: Ten II/Rose OK, this is one of those head/desk moments. This was originally written on the prompt "knitting" from Hearts-in-Time, a Nine/Rose shippers community. That said, it sort of took parts of a piece I'm already working on and came out this way. Yes, I know it's Ten II. Yeah, I know you can't get farther apart, but I like the piece so here it is. Hearts-in-Time will get their due, kickin' ideas around as we speak, uh write, read, whatever.
This is part of my Opposite of Time verse, where Ten II has taken the name Sean. Yes I will post that story, just not today.
Title: The Knitting Together of the Broken Author: Qtrhorserider Pairings: Ten II/Rose, mention of Jackie, and Pete Ratings: PG Spoilers: If you've seen "Journey's End" you're cool Disclaimers: Not mine, not even close, I just channel them. Summary: It takes both the good and the bad to make a relationship strong
“Have you looked in the mirror? You look like a disgruntled, baby bird, especially with all the shrieking and hopping about."
( The Knitting Together of the Broken ) Current Location: Home, no buffaloes Current Mood: busy Current Music: purring kittehs, purr
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May 17th, 2009
07:04 pm I got laid off Friday. The thing is, I can't find it in myself to be angry or upset with them about it. Since I was working for a very small firm, we were all pretty close, so I know how hard it was for them to do it. It was a financial decision but I also have a feeling that they really wanted me to take time to study for the bar. Now I can do that while drawing unemployment. We'll be able to stay afloat, barely.
When this happened on Friday, I was devastated. These people are like family. My best friend is a lawyer there. The other two paralegals could quote lines from the same movies I do. They get my quirky in jokes and I get theirs. It's the only job where I could just be myself and still have my co-workers like me.
I worked for this guy when I was in law school and he came and recruited me. He hired me away from someone else. I know he was not happy about the decision, since he had the other partner give me the news. When I talked to him before I left, I told him he'd be the first one to get my resume as soon as I passed and he looked pleased. The other partner also implied that there might be a place for me after I'm sworn in.
I should be really upset right now, but I'm not. I almost feel a sense of freedom. I'm not going to look for a job. I'm going to take the time to study really, really hard this time and pass the sucker. Then maybe they'll let me come home.
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May 3rd, 2009
February 21st, 2009
06:07 pm - Interesting meme I got this from Earlgreytea68. These are 5 things that she associates with me. I get to elaborate on them Comment on the meme and I'll send you five things about you and it's your turn to elaborate.
(1) Horses.
I'm told that "horse" was one of my first words. I've been horse crazy as far back as I remember. My granddad built me a little red barn to keep all of my toy horses in. I really wish that I still had that. I started riding in my last semester of law school. It was my present to myself. It's been way to long since I've been to the barn...
(2) Your icon with Ten on the horse.
When I was working in my friend Suzanne's law office, I had the Doctor, Rose and the horse on my desk. I got the horse, which is porcelain, from a shop I used to work in. He was in the display case and still somehow managed to get his ears chipped, which made him unsaleable. So for $5, he went home with me.
The Doctor and Rose are my anniversary present from Scarfman. One day, in one of those strange moments that hits us all, it just became obvious that the Doctor had to be on the horse. Then, the camera phone just had to come into play....Scarfman turned it into a icon for me.
(3) The Kate Kavalry (a name I made up right now)
What a cool name! You know when people start talking about mounting up and riding to the rescue, well, some things just must be done...
(4) Deadliest Catch
OK, I miss the crab guys. Kalleah wrote about them in her LJ and I was intrigued, so I watched them. I'm not sure what it is that draws me to this show. But some things...just for fun. It has also lead me down a dangerous road, It was while watching them that I stumbled onto the Most Dangerous Race, about the Iditerod. Was hooked on that one for the 6 or so episodes that it ran. Can't wait for the guys to come back, though.
(5) Doctor Who!
Saw Doctor Who for the first time in the '70's with Tom Baker. At that time the PBS station in Chicago, where I lived, was running them in the original 1/2 hour format in the late afternoon. It was rushing home from school to watch Dark Shadows. I had to be home by 5:30 to watch. Then I met my husband who is the biggest Doctor who Geek that I know and the rest is history... Current Location: The easy chair of Rassilon Current Music: John Stewart and the Daily Show
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February 7th, 2009
08:06 pm - Friend Meme Copied from Kaleah 1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My first name is biblical, as is my middle, but I have relatives on both sides of my family named Ruth so I have it as my middle name.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
A lot between Thanksgiving and Christmas, for reasons I can't discuss.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes, it's kinda unique and old fashioned. Don't know how that happened, but I guess I was kind of iconoclastic even as a six year old.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Deli ham.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Two.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I'd like to think so.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Like I'd ever do that.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yep.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Sure. It's right at the bottom of my bucket list. See question #7.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Good ol' Cheerios.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
That'd just take too long.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
The kind that finds its way into my bowl.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Demeanor.
15. RED OR PINK? Depends.
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
That I rarely allow myself to be vulnerable.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My kids, their spouses and their children.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
I want people to do what they want.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Dark jeans, no shoes.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Last week's Smallville on TV.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Green metallic.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Oddly, the barn, and the horses that live in them.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My best friend, Roxanne.
25. HOW DO YOU KNOW THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
LJ.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Anything with a horse in it.
27. HAIR COLOR?
Gray.
28. EYE COLOR?
Bluish gray.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Tried.
30. FAVORITE FOODS?
Carbs.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?.
Ink Heart
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer.
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Depends.
37. DESCRIBE YOUR PENCIL CUP....
Black wire mesh.
38. FAVORITE ARTIST(s)?
Paul Gadzikowski (Scarfman) ;).
39. WHAT BOOK(s) ARE YOU READING NOW?
Childe Morgan by Kathryn Kurtz Darwin's Children Practical Mystic (about Arthur Eddington) and any bar study materials.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD
I have a wireless.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Nip/Tuck, John Stewart and Steven Colbert, and Fringe and Leverage.
42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
Horses hooves, the human voice as an instrument, and the sound of a bat connecting with a ball. It's one of the most satisfying that I know.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
I once went to Canada for Chinese food.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can sing and I like to believe that I can write.
46 WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Louisville, KY.
47. FAVORITE PIECE OF JEWELRY?
My wedding ring.
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
He and my ex were both in a Moebius theatre play and I was chairing the SF con that it was going to be at. Current Location: My favorite chair Current Mood: sleepy
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December 9th, 2008
09:19 pm - What can I say
| Which creature of the night are you? Your Result: Cthulu Spawn You are really an alien thing, aren't you? I can't describe you because you are beyond. We say "left field" and you say "Krn Grth Thchrang." You are the wild card of the bunch, the unknown quantity | | Sorceror | | | Werewolf | | | Demon | | | Incubus/Succubus | | | Ghost | | | Vampire | | Which creature of the night are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz | Darn it I think it's spot on...
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November 29th, 2008
02:26 pm - Rainbow
Your rainbow is intensely shaded white, yellow, and violet. What is says about you: You are a creative person. You appreciate quiet moments. People depend on you to make them feel secure. You're good at getting people to like you. Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.
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October 6th, 2008
06:41 am - Those mean little girls just never grow out of it I just turned off CNN because the more I listen to Sarah Palin, the more she sounds like that annoying kid on the playground that makes up rumors and spreads them around just to be mean.
Maybe Obama should have known who this "known" terrorist was, but honestly, I'm older Obama, and I still don't know who the guy is. Quite frankly, if he was so known and guilty and dangerous, etc, why was he still running free and able to be on political committees? Why could he hold little coffees for political collegues and not have the FBI come after him. It's not like the guy was keeping a low profile.
Me thinks she doth protest too much.
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October 2nd, 2008
10:15 pm
You Are 22% Evil
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A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.
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Isn't it interesting that all of us are the most dangerous kind of evil?
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July 29th, 2008
07:32 am - Doctor Who Fic: Don't Worry, I've Got You 4/4 As promised. Thanks for reading!
Title: Don't Worry, I've Got You 4/4 Author: Qtrhorserider Pairings: Ten.1/Rose, Jackie, Pete Ratings: PG Spoilers: last 3 episodes of Series 4 Disclaimers: Not mine, not even close, I just channel them. Summary: The Doctor and Pete have a talk about Rose
“I won't say welcome to the family until it's official, and I truly think it's too soon. But I will say welcome to the menagerie."
( Wackiness Ensues Here ) Current Location: teeny, weeny living room of Rassilon Current Mood: excited
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